Renee Spencer

I wish we could normalise something very simple: Acknowledging what it actually means to be human. Because somewhere along the way, we’ve taken core human experiences—things like strength, freedom, capability, emotional depth, purpose—and divided them into “masculine” and “feminine” traits. And once you really look at that move, it doesn’t make sense. It creates confusion at best, and at worst, it becomes a tool for control. Let’s start with the basics.

We tend to treat privacy, secrecy, and transparency as if they sit on the same spectrum. As if more transparency is always good, and anything hidden must be suspect. But these concepts are not interchangeable. And in coercive cults and high-control groups, the confusion between them is not accidental—it’s functional.

Any spiritual group that causes someone to fear for their safety—physically, mentally, or emotionally—cannot possibly be healthy. That might sound obvious at first, but in high control environments, what feels obvious from the outside becomes deeply confusing from within. In conversations about coercive control, we often compare high control groups to unhealthy intimate relationships. The parallels are not just helpful—they’re essential for understanding what’s really happening.