Cult Recovery Starts Here

Lady Red will help lead you out of the forest and ensure the wolf does not trick you again.

If you’ve landed here, there’s usually a reason.

You might be:

- Questioning a group or relationship

- Trying to make sense of something that doesn’t feel right

- Supporting someone you care about

- Beginning recovery after leaving

Wherever you are in that process, you’re welcome here.

Cults & Coercive Control

High-control doesn’t always look like a cult.
I know—because I’ve lived it.

I was never in a “cult.”

But…

I was raised Catholic and taught to aspire to purity culture.

I lived with a perpetual feeling of guilt,

which translated into feeling responsible for all harm done to me, even if it was not my fault.

I’ve been in controlling relationships
—before I understood the meaning of 'coercion'.

I’ve searched for answers
in religion, atheism, New Age beliefs,
multi-level marketing,
and groups with no name.

I’ve believed things.
Unlearned them.
Started again.

Something in me kept questioning.

That questioning led me to study,
to understand,
to see the patterns.

To understand the mind and human behaviour,

How mental health and psychology intercept.

Losing my daughter to a high-control group
changed me.

Systems that abuse power and assert dominance need to be challenged.

This work is where that journey has led.

~ Renée Spencer, 2026

Coercive Control

Subtle, Confusing, and Deeply Disorienting

All high-control groups and relationships rely on coercive control.

But coercive control isn’t one behaviour—it’s a pattern. A combination of tactics that can gradually shape how you think, feel, and act.

Not every situation looks the same. Some feel obvious. Others are subtle, even familiar.

That’s why it can be hard to recognise.

The rubric breaks coercive control into its key parts, helping you see patterns more clearly—while recognising that each experience is unique.

What is coercive control?

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“I Didn’t Know We Had Cults in Australia”

I was in the company of two women—one in her 60s, the other in her 30s, when I disclosed that I had lost my daughter to a cult. The older woman sighed with empathy and began sharing the religious trauma she’d experienced growing up in a high-control religious group.

The younger woman looked surprised and said: “I didn’t know we had any cults in Australia.”

I was once that naive too. I didn’t realise how important it was to educate my daughter about the dangers of charismatic leaders and coercive groups. I wish I could go back in time and share the insights I now have. Alas, I cannot change the past. But i can help prevent others from going through the same hell.

It’s estimated that there are over 3,000 high-control groups operating in Australia—some less harmful, but many causing deep psychological, spiritual, and relational damage.

I developed my 12 criteria to help others determine the level of coercive control they are subjected to in any environment.

My rubric is the combination of lived experience within coercive environments, 25+ years in education, and 10 years working in mental health.

Cult Lists

Make Sense of Your Experience

Once you begin to understand coercive control, the next step is often recognising how it may have shown up in your own life.

Many people notice common patterns—sometimes only in hindsight. These can include:

Manipulation – confusion, mixed messages, or feeling like reality was being reshaped
Dependency – relying on a person or group for direction, approval, or meaning
Identity impact – losing a sense of who you are, or feeling like a different version of yourself

Not every experience looks the same, and not every pattern will apply. But seeing even small pieces can begin to bring clarity.

You don’t have to figure it all out at once. This is something many people return to over time, as their understanding deepens.

Recover From Coercive Control

Recovery doesn’t happen all at once. It’s often gradual, non-linear, and deeply personal.

For many people, it begins with small shifts—feeling a little more grounded, a little more able to trust your own thoughts, or noticing moments where your sense of self starts to return.

You might be processing what happened, rebuilding your confidence, or learning to recognise your own needs and boundaries again. Some days will feel clearer than others.

There’s no single “right way” to recover. What matters is moving at a pace that feels safe and sustainable for you.

Support can make a difference. Whether through counselling, reflection, or simply having a space where your experience is understood, recovery becomes something you don’t have to navigate alone.

You can return to this process as many times as you need. Over time, things begin to make more sense—and a stronger, more grounded sense of self can emerge.