From the outside, leaving a cult looks easy. From the inside, it can feel impossible. Understanding why requires rethinking everything we assume about freedom, choice, and the human need to belong. There's a question people almost always ask when they hear someone's cult story: Why didn't you just leave? It sounds reasonable. No one was chaining members to the wall. No one was holding a gun to their head. Surely a person of normal intelligence could simply walk out the door.

A "cult of two" — describes an intimate relationship in which one person gradually becomes the other's entire emotional world: their source of truth, validation, identity, fear, and meaning.

Having two days to draw attention to the same issue may seem excessive to some. But to me, it’s no different from how we mark both ANZAC Day on April 25 and Remembrance Day on November 11—two distinct moments to reflect on the havoc and heartbreak of war, each with its own emphasis and meaning. In the same way, awareness and recovery are not the same thing, and they deserve to be held separately.

Cults and high-control groups often rely on systematic strategies that work precisely by undermining the three psychological needs of SDT (autonomy, competence, relatedness) and by usurping self-determination both individually and collectively. Some of the key tactics include:

You thought leaving would bring relief. More freedom. More space to breathe. Maybe even a sense of peace. Instead… there’s guilt. A constant, nagging, heavy feeling that you’ve done something wrong — even if you can’t logically explain why. If this is you, you’re not broken. And you’re definitely not alone. What you’re feeling makes sense when we understand how high-control or fear-based religious environments shape the brain, the nervous system, and your sense of self. L

In the days following the Bondi Beach attack, the internet became a mirror for both the best and worst of human behaviour. On one hand, there were stories of bravery, solidarity, and genuine mourning. On the other, a predictable — and deeply troubling — pattern reasserted itself: fake influencers, rumour-mongers and online opportunists flooding angry and grieving spaces with misinformation.

If you’ve ever come out of a relationship with a narcissist — whether a parent, partner, boss, or cult leader — you may find yourself...

PART 3 OF 4 Explore the path to personal and social well-being through healthy spirituality.

PART 1 OF 4 Explore the insightful stages of faith development by Fowler and Peck. Gain a deeper understanding of spiritual growth.

Uncover the hidden pitfall of the spiritual journey with 'Spiritual Bypassing'.

Discover the positive side of close-knit spiritual groups teetering on the 'Verge of Cultish'.

Discover your path to freedom with the Cult Recovery Toolkit. Reclaim your autonomy, rediscover your identity.

Uncover the intricate 'Mechanics of Brainwashing' and how the brain responds to psychological coercion.

Explore the deep psychological impact of cult experiences leading to PTSD, the symptoms, and recovery approaches on this educational blog.